No naked Britney - in the e-mail attachment [with apologies to Chris Rock]

Ladies and Gentlemen of the EuroPG class of 2002,

I have one piece of advice for you:

No matter what the subject line tells you,

There is no naked Britney in the e-mail attachment.

 

Yes, there's a virus or even a PhotoShop cut & paste,

But you want to see a naked Britney Spears.

And there is no naked Britney Spears,

In the e-mail attachment.

 

If an e-mail tells you about the Good Times virus,

Killfile the sender.

They've obviously only been using the 'Net for 10 minutes,

Otherwise they'd have received 100 copies of this hoax like you.

 

If a spammer tells you how to make millions,

Abuse report their account.

If they really can make millions,

How come they've spamming the world like a luser?

 

If you receive e-mail promising a bigger penis, delete.

Reading e-mail about penis size can only reduce the size of your wallet.

If so many men are getting enormous penises,

How come sales of wheelbarrows haven't gone up?

 

If another pilot cuts you up in thermal,

Get out of their way.

Its not worth having a mid air,

Because some idiot cut you up.

 

Some of the things I've said may not apply to you,

Some of the things I've said may offend you,

But remember this one thing,

No matter what the subject line tells you,

There is no naked Lolita

In the e-mail attachment.

 

None.